A Lion's Pride
by mutemelodyx
Summary: Keith got kicked out of the Garrison for "disciplinary issues". No one looked twice -it made perfect sense, given his history. No one ever suspected that the whole "disciplinary issues" excuse was a lie. No one suspected that Keith was kicked out for being gay. No one knows how scared he is that history might repeat itself with Voltron.


**Warnings for implied/referenced past homophobia & internalized homophobia. The latter is resolved.**

* * *

Keith could still remember when he was called into Iverson's office. It was two weeks after Shiro had been officially announced KIA - back when he still had hope that the Garrison was working behind the scenes in order to help the Kerberos crew return home.

Oh, how naïve he had been.

He had walked into the office, cautious and curious. If it had been before the Kerberos mission, he knew it would most likely be the Commander telling him off for his attitude problems.

_"You're a bright cadet with a lot of potential. I don't want to see that being wasted simply because you can't play nice with your crew. You don't have to be best friends, but you should be able to go five seconds without starting a fight."_

He knew he had a temper. He's always had a temper. It was just…people were so _complicated. _Not just that, but they were _unnecessarily _complicated. It was all so frustrating to Keith; he hated how people loved to make things difficult.

His mother, for example. She was the most complex mystery of Keith's entire life. Why had she abandoned him? She had left him without a second thought or even a goodbye.

He just didn't understand why people did half the things they did, and, as a result, he was outcasted. The loner.

He didn't care for the most part. People made things complicated, and Keith always preferred things to be simpler.

Still, he couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness whenever he saw groups laughing as they exited the simulators. His experience was just glares - annoyance from his peers that he managed to complete his part perfectly and still snap at them.

(They didn't know that he was really trying to be patient, he just didn't understand. Understand their thought processes. Understand their complex nature. Understand how to communicate.)

So yeah, Iverson's room was not foreign to him.

After the Kerberos mission went wrong, however, things completely changed. Keith didn't fire up, but instead shut down. Went into autopilot. He completely drew in on himself as he struggled to reconcile the possibility that _Shiro _\- his only friend - was dead.

So when he was called into Iverson's room, he was completely confused. He hadn't snapped at anyone in weeks or picked any fights, and his grades had not gone down. The only thing suffering was his mental and emotional state, but he had been at the Garrison long enough to know that Iverson didn't give a damn about that.

He was shocked, then, to be confronted on a completely different front.

His sexuality.

Keith was gay. He wasn't in the closet, but he wasn't out. It was more along the lines that he'd share if asked, and no one had cared enough to ask before.

That's when he found out the Galaxy Garrison was extremely homophobic.

He was expelled within the week after Iverson confronted him on the rumors that he was homosexual. He had confirmed - how foolish he had been - and realized his mistake the moment Iverson's eyes narrowed.

'Disciplinary issues' they said, and nobody batted an eye. He was, after all, Keith Kogane. The temperamental loner. The one who always picked fights. The one who sat in the back to scowl at everyone.

(People thought he couldn't hear them. He always could. When Shiro was around it was easy not to take them to heart. Then Shiro left to prepare for Kerberos, and never returned.)

The only questions people had consisted of what he had done _this _time, and why he hadn't been expelled sooner. There were rumors. Iverson got into an accident that permanently damaged his left eye soon after, and soon enough the time difference was forgotten. As he packed his stuff up, dozens of different variations of how Keith caused Iverson's injury buzzed around.

No one seemed to eager to talk to him, though. No one approached him as he left. His roommate avoided the dorm completely. No one stepped out to talk. To say goodbye. To ask anything.

He got the message clear enough. He had been stupid enough to share, and that was on him. He couldn't rely on anyone to ever be there for him. To be on his side.

People were complex, and because of it, they were flexible. Deceptive. Deceitful.

They might appear like they have your best interests at heart then turn around and hit you where it hurts. Someone might act like they care then simply disappear into the wind the next day without an explanation.

Promises didn't last forever, and people don't care about you as much as you think they do.

So, he took people out of it.

Eleven months.

That's how long he spent alone in the desert. The only people he ever contacted was when he was in town to get supplies, and he kept that to a minimal.

_Remove the variables. Simplify the situation. Then, solve it._

People were too much of a mystery, so he had to remove them to discover the truth about Kerberos. The desert was ideal - it was isolated, habitable, close, and open enough that he could see the stars.

(Besides, it wasn't like the desert could kick him out for being gay.)

He never expected the pieces to fall together the way they did. Nevertheless, after those eleven months, he found Shiro once more, along with a few others. He brought them back to his home in the desert, and felt uncomfortable every second.

The shack had become his home. His _sanctuary. _Sure, there was no one to talk to, but that meant there was no one to reject him either. It was a simple place that had enough to fulfill the basic necessities, and little else. It wasn't complicated.

Then he got swept up in the storm, and found himself in an alien spaceship with four other humans and two aliens, with the burden of the universe resting on his shoulders.

It was quite a change, but Keith adjusted. To his horror, he found himself growing attached to his shipmates. It was impossible not to - they were stuck together until they managed to complete their task of freeing the universe from an evil alien dictator. They spent a lot of time together.

The last time he became accustomed to a place that had others was the Garrison. The last person he found family in was Shiro.

Keith refused to lose it all again. He refused to lose them.

So, he said nothing. Didn't correct Lance when the boy casually mentioned Keith's departure from the Garrison.

(_ "Whatever, dropout."_

Was that what the lie had developed into? Keith leaving willingly?)

He didn't come out when Shiro asked him how his crush as the Garrison worked out.

(He had had a small crush on a boy in his grade that had dissolved before Shiro even took off for Kerberos. Keith had been planning to come out to Shiro before he left, but had never been able to find the time for it.

Now, he was unable to gain the nerve for it, knowing he wouldn't be able to bear it if Shiro rejected him.)

Keith was still a loner among the Paladins, but nowhere as bad as at the Garrison. They actually cared about him. They talked to him. They fought together. They laughed together. They ate together. They trained together.

They were supposed to trust one another.

(But Keith wasn't sure he could trust anyone for a long time. Afterall, he had trusted his mother to stay, and she had left. He had trusted the Garrison, and they had thrown him out.

Wasn't trust just made to be broken?)

However, it was all manageable. Keith could deal. He could ignore Lance's comments. He could lie to Shiro.

Then it all came crashing down.

(He blamed Pidge and her observation skills.)

It all started when Lance became a bit more vocal with taunting Keith for 'dropping out' of the Garrison. Normally Keith was eager to participate in their arguments, ready to fire back at Lance insults and jabs.

Pidge, however, seemed to notice Keith's slowness. His hesitance to reply. The secret burning within him.

"Keith," Pidge asked, unabashedly cutting off Lance's retort. She shifted, moving from her position with her feet tucked under her on the couch as she looked at her tablet (Keith had no idea how she thought that was comfortable) to her feet settled on the ground as she leaned forward curiously. "You didn't drop out, did you?"

Keith froze, not knowing how to react. Lance looked at him, obviously surprised. Hunk and Shiro ceased their conversation to look over, obviously hearing Pidge's words.

Keith merely shrugged, struggling to recover. To hide the surprise on his face. "I don't know what you mean." He lied to Pidge, who let out a small scoff.

"I mean, there were rumors you were expelled, but few believed them." Pidge explained. "Iverson was known for keeping kids on if they were excelling, regardless of their actions. He cared more about the Garrison looking good than anything else."

Keith didn't reply, and instead looked away, trying to escape their questioning gazes. He wished he was anywhere else. He didn't want to ruin this. He didn't want to be kicked out again. He didn't want to be abandoned by another family.

"I left for the same reason you joined," He lied, but knew it was weak. Knew he had already given too much away with his reactions and body language. "They were lying about the Kerberos mission. That's it."

He stood up, moving through the room as he struggled to not look at any of them. "I'm going to train." He muttered to them as he passed, before exiting the room.

It wasn't until he was a good distance away did he feel like he was able to breathe properly again.

Time passed, and no one brought it up again. They all stayed blessedly silent, and Keith was extremely grateful for it. He wondered if that was it - if that would be the end of the questioning, and they would just let the subject drop.

(But that was just the start.)

He found out he was part Galra, and questioned who he had pissed off.

Now the family he had found was seemingly falling around him. Allura hated him. Hunk asked him a million questions that Keith wished he knew the answers to. Pidge looked over him curiously, as if she wanted to ask how a human and a Galra could even breed together.

He was outcasted once more.

"Go away, Lance. I'm not in the mood." He called without turning around. He had long since memorized the footfalls of each person in the Castle, and so he didn't need to look to know it was the Blue Paladin.

Lance didn't reply, but instead knocked on the door. Keith sighed, knowing Lance's stubbornness, and opted to just it over with.

He stood from his bed, kicking the sword he had been staring at under his bed. It had yet to turn back to a dagger, and he had no idea if it ever would.

He opened the door, and Lance was there, shifting his weight hesitantly.

"Hey man," Lance said, looking him over.

"What do you want?" Keith asked, cutting to the chase. He was in no mood to deal with how complex people were.

(Was that a sign of his Galra heritage? His inability to understand people? To relate to them? To comprehend their complexities?)

"I don't think you should be alone right now," Lance blurted out, surprising Keith immensely. "I mean," He struggled to backtrack, before sighing. "We're all here for you, Keith."

Keith raised his eyebrows, "Really? Tell Allura that." He quipped.

"She'll come around - she just needs time. You know how much the Galra have hurt her." Lance tried to reason.

_I know she's having a hard time, but what about me?_

_It's okay for her to hate me for something I can't control, but I'm not allowed to get upset or mad about it?_

_Typical._

"Whatever." Keith muttered, turning away. He'd easily bear his self-imposed isolation until it was time for them all to embark on their attack against Zarkon and his Central Command.

He was surprised to feel a hand on his shoulder, stopping his movements. "Keith," Lance called softly, and Keith drew a breath before turning around.

"What?" He snapped, ready to drive Lance out of the room. It was better than breaking down in front of him, after all.

"How are you managing?"

Keith halted, not expecting the question.

After all, when was the last time someone asked him that question? Cared about _him _in a situation like this one.

"How do you think?" He asked, trying and failing to keep up his facade of anger and annoyance, but betrayed as his voice cracked.

"You don't have to go through this alone," Lance told him softly, "We're here. Allura's not here yet, but we aren't waiting for her. Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, heck even Coran…we're all here."

Keith let himself smile softly.

_No, you can't trust them. Can't let them in._

_Let them in and they'll just hurt you more._

_Let them in and they'll just turn around and leave._

The smile faltered.

"Thanks," Keith said, turning once more as he let his hand drift towards the panel for the door controls, "But I'm used to going through this by myself."

"At the Garrison?"

Keith froze again, and wondered when Lance became able to read him so well.

"I don't know what you mean."

And with that, he shut the door, effectively shutting Lance out.

(He couldn't be hurt anymore.)

The only fault with his plan was that they had approximately a week until they would start their plan. Slav needed that much time to build the teludav, and the Blade needed to coordinate.

And Keith needed to leave his room so he wouldn't starve.

He managed to go two days without running into anyone.

The third day, he wasn't so lucky.

Shiro had confronted him on his way back to his room, and merely grabbed his arm and started to guide Keith off course without a word. Keith struggled slightly, but knew he was no match for Shiro and gave up quickly.

He was led to the lounge, where the rest of the team - minus Allura and Coran, he noticed - were.

Shiro let him go when they reached the couch, and he quickly turned, only for Pidge to pull him down next to her. It wasn't that she was overpowering him, but he hadn't expected the resistance in the first place. As a result, he fell onto the couch ungracefully.

He huffed, crossing his arms and looking down. He knew that he was probably being childish, but he didn't care.

He heard Shiro sigh, before speaking, "I've gathered you all here because the attack on Zarkon's base is only a few days away, and we need to be prepared for it. We won't be able to form Voltron the way we are now - we need to be a _team."_

(It hadn't occurred to Keith that they might struggle to form Voltron because of him, and he felt a wave of guilt pass through him.

Not that he showed it. He refused to give Shiro the satisfaction.)

"And a team trusts one another," Shiro continued. "They put their faith in each other, knowing that the others are going to cover their backs. That they will be there for them, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

"Voltron is the universe's last hope. We - this team - are the last domino, and if we fall then it's over."

Keith clenched his hands into fists. He hesitantly looked up, grateful to see that Shiro wasn't staring at him like he had pictured, but rather looking around the room.

Shiro looked at all of them, "We're not leaving here today until we are once more a team. The team that saved the Arusians, the Olkari, the Balmera - the team that those races and countless others put their faith into." He gestured to the ground, and Keith saw the pile of the mind tech they used for the mind melding exercise. "We're going to talk, and then we're going to try and form Voltron. We're going to repeat this until we can do it with the same ease that that team could."

He looked, meeting each person's gaze in turn. Keith looked away when Shiro got to him, unable to look Shiro in the eye.

"So, who's first?" Shiro asked.

"I am," Pidge said, moving to stand. Shiro stepped aside, letting her take the floor. Keith looked over her, and saw hesitation mixing with resolve on her face. "I've, uh…" she sighed, before restarting. "As some of you may know," She looked over at Hunk and Lance, "I got really good grades at the Garrison. The thing is, well, uh…

"I cheated."

She looked down, "I mean, I'm fourteen. I know you all think I'm some über-genius, and I might be, but not to the extent you guys think I am. The lessons there were meant for people who had already taken lessons I would have taken that year. Since I, uh, lied about my age to get in, I never took those lessons. I had to cheat and lie on my exams to pass." She looked around hesitantly. "I'm not as smart as you all think I am."

"Bullshit!" Lance called out, and she looked at him, startled by the sudden yell. He gave her a smile, "I mean, it's bullshit that you think that. So what you cheated? The fact that you managed to hack into the Garrison and make an entirely different person _and _managed to go through classes at a disadvantage of a few years just shows how much of a genius you are."

"Yeah," Hunk agreed. "I mean, just because you didn't know the lessons didn't mean you didn't know your stuff. You never struggled more than anyone else in the sims."

Keith looked at Pidge, and impulsively opened his mouth, "You managed to walk past Iverson and have him not recognize you." It took all of his willpower to say the name normally. "I think that says more about your genius than any test."

She grinned, before shaking her head slightly. "You guys are such saps," She teased, before moving back to her seat on the couch and plopping down.

Keith looked around the room, quickly realizing that Lance was doing the same. Lance looked extremely hesitant, and he didn't know what possessed him to shoot up the moment he saw their resident sharpshooter open his mouth.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before opening them and walking determinedly to the center of the rough half circle they were in.

_They're not going to abandon you. _He told himself forcefully. _Besides, they need you to be the Red Paladin. Red's too temperamental. They need you._

_You need to trust them._

"I didn't drop out of the Garrison." He said, not looking at anyone in particular as the words came out. He was doing this? He was actually doing this?

_I guess I am._

"I was expelled." He told them, "'Disciplinary issues' was the official story. But…" he looked down, hesitant. "That was a lie."

"What?" He heard Shiro mutter softly in surprise, and he was aware of the others moving slightly in shock in his peripheral.

He looked up, resolve filling him. It was too late to turn back now.

"The Garrison lied because they wanted an excuse to get rid of me. Because…well, because I'm _me _no one even questioned them when they said it was because of my issues with authority. After all," he looked at Shiro, "My only friend had just disappeared. It was easy to say I got angry. I acted out. But…" he shook his head, "After the Kerberos crew were announced KIA, I didn't do any of that. I just…shut down. The next thing I knew is that the Garrison's expelling me, lying to cover their tracks, and no one there gives a damn about my side of the story." He looked at them all as the words he had been carrying inside him spilled out.

(He wondered if there was some way to put them back - to take it all back. He was losing his conviction. Doubting that this was the right thing to do.

But it was too late.)

"We do," Keith looked at Pidge, surprised at the conviction in her words. "We care." She told him, and he felt a bit lighter at her words.

He looked at her and nodded slightly, the smallest smile on his face as he acknowledged her hidden message.

_We care about you._

"Why would they do that?" Hunk breathed, shocked that the Garrison would kick Keith out then lie about it - blame it all on him. Say Keith willingly left.

Keith hesitated, before sighing. Why not?

"Because they couldn't have word get out that their top student was gay." He told them, trying to ignore how fast his heart was beating. "After all, they're supposed to be a _dignified institution _." He repeated Iverson's words bitterly, trying to get righteous anger to replace his insecurities and abandonment issues.

"Wait, they kicked you out…because you're gay?" Lance repeated, his eyes wide.

Keith nodded, "So, when I told you I'm used to going through this kind of stuff alone, I wasn't lying. I was expelled because I'm gay. Allura hates me because I'm part Galra. Neither I have any control over, but…" he shrugged, "That's never stopped me from being kicked out before."

Keith felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked to see Shiro there, looking solemn. "You're not getting kicked out of here Keith. We didn't befriend you because you're straight. The Red Lion didn't choose you because you're completely human." He smiled, "We want _you."_

Keith looked around hesitantly, seeing only accepting smiles on the faces of his friends. His _family._

He looked back at Shiro, and he nodded, finally feeling free.

The next day Allura would come forward and apologize for her actions privately, and Keith accepted them with more ease than either of them expected.

He could see she saw the error of her ways, and was deeply annoyed with herself for her own behavior.

She had needed time to accept that things were not as black and white as the one thought they were. Keith understood - he needed time to see that too.

(There would still always be those out there who would hate without reason, he knew. There'd always be another Iverson.

But that didn't matter, because in his fellow Paladins and Voltron he found his place.

He had finally found his place, full of people who didn't care about the things he couldn't control him. Who loved him regardless of how he loved.

He had found his pride.)


End file.
